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Crack Up


Lucy Carmichael

Lucy was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:

    A half-gallon of 2% milk
    A carton of eggs
    A quart of orange juice
    A head of lettuce
    A  2 lb. can of coffee
    A  1 lb. package of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed her items in front of the cashier.  While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'Eh sista...You must be  single.'

She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that  could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status..

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said: 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely right.  But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you ugggly'
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